Tips From Edward Cullen1. When it comes to picking a girlfriend, it's the smell that counts.2. Girls go for a man who is unpredictable. The more changeable you are, the more you appeal to them.3. Girls find it inconceivably attractive when you just sit and stare at them all day. 4. Everything that goes wrong is the girl's fault. If you have a violent temper and suffer occasional outbursts, that's her fault, too.5. Once you snag a girl, she is entirely your property. Finders, keepers!6. You must show off your sparkliness at least ten times a day.7. Always tell a girl no; she thinks that means "yes" and "go away" means "I'm all yours, baby!"8. Use big, sophisticated words to make yourself sound more intelligent.9. Your girlfriend should be with you, and no one else. That includes friends and family.10. Your only real goal in life is to lounge around and look pretty.
"Toilet" Alternate EndingsAllright, since the ending of the Twilight series is too much lame and predictable (I gave up reading it by the half of the 1st volume and I know how it ends.-.), it seemed proper to suggest my alternate endings. Well, not mine, but those of some known authors. Lets see how they would end the story.---J.R.R. Tolkien: Edward is killed by Jacob (which had made the favor of eating his hand earlier), resurrects, renounces to his immortality and spends the rest of his life hidden with Bella, until they pass beyond the circles of this World.Shakespeare: Thinking that Edward had died, Bella kills herself. When he finds out what happened, he manages to really kill himself.James Joyce: A hundred-page long monologue by Bella, but with less than one minute of chronology, with no punctuation and full of pornographic passages, because her husband asks her for a breakfast at bed. Mr. Edward Cullen ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls, but not of humans, because